9 Signs You’re a Dog Parent

You know how you can spot cat parents a mile away because they’re usually covered in cat hair? Well, we hate to break it to you, but there are some pretty obvious signs you’re a dog parent, too.

Of course, being a dog parent is something to be proud of, but you probably didn’t even realize some of the things you do that scream, “I have a dog at home that owns me.”

We’ve put together a whole list of signs you’re a dog parent so you can have a laugh and also reach a higher level of self-awareness.

1. You can’t remember their real name because you call them by their 10 nicknames.

Sure, your dog has a “legal” name that’s on their pet insurance policy and their vet records. But when someone asks your dog’s name, your mind goes blank for a minute because you can’t remember the last time you actually called them by that name. A name like “Fig” becomes Figgles, Figster, Wiggles, Figgy Wiggy, Piglet, Figilina, Figalicious, and so on. 

2. You don’t leave the house without your dog’s “go bag.”

Everyone knows that parents don’t travel light, and that goes for dog parents, too. How could you go anywhere with your pup without their poop bags, leash, favorite stuffie, food, treats, travel water bowl with the finest water, a cozy blankie, paw wipes, towel, and travel bed? It’s all about keeping your dog comfortable, no matter where they are.

3. Picking up dog poop doesn’t faze you, but the thought of scooping litter makes you gag.

You always wondered how cat parents can stand having to scoop a litter box every day–especially when they have two or three in the house. After all, the smell of cat pee is the worst. And let’s not even mention those disgusting hairballs. Meanwhile dog parents don’t blink when we reach down to grab a pile of feces, with only a thin plastic baggie for protection.

4. You’ve got the most expensive pet roomba on the market.

Someone’s gotta clean up all those fur bunnies lurking in every corner of the house, and it’s not gonna be you. You’ve made the executive decision as a dedicated dog parent to go all in on a top-of-the-line robotic vacuum. The dogs certainly aren’t going anywhere, and neither is all that fur, so something had to give.

5. You’ve run out of storage on your phone because of all the pics of your dog.

You roll your eyes at people whose phone backgrounds are pics of their kids, but yours features your dog, of course. Dog parents never get tired of snapping pics of all the cute things their dogs do. And you’re not the slightest bit embarrassed when you’re trying to find any other pic and you have to scroll infinitely through all those dog “selfies.”

6. Your life is organized and arranged to accommodate your dog.

To start with, your dog has five different beds in different rooms of the house, just so they always have a cozy place to nap near you. You organize weekly playdates for your dog, and your schedule revolves around these. And you need to leave work in time to pick your pup up from doggie daycare, of course.

7. You have considered getting a reading from a pet psychic, or you actually got one. 

How else are you going to know that they truly love you or whether they’ve been depressed since their best doggie friend moved away? So, being the concerned dog parent that you are, you splurged for the reading, and you found out your dog’s deepest thoughts. Your senior Chihuahua loves those chewy chicken treats you give her, but they are a tad too rich.

8. You have a pet cam and a livestream link that you’ve sent to all your friends.

Instead of a nanny cam, dog parents have several carefully placed pet cams so they can keep an eye on their dogs’ antics throughout the day. You always wondered what your dog did when you weren’t there, and now you can watch hours upon hours of your pup snoring the day away.

9. You’re constantly comparing your dog’s behavior to that of other dogs.

This could be a good thing or a bad thing. Either you have a really well-trained pup, and you’re thankful that your dog isn’t the one barking at all your co-workers all day, or you’re the one who is super embarrassed because your dog stole all the other dogs’ toys at the dog park.